novelE2F Chapter 206 : Rural! Credit! Cooperative!
Chapter 206 : Rural! Credit! Cooperative!
The wind of youth is very precious, but the madness of youth after pushing for half an hour is also very devastating.
In front of the battery swap station, Bai Bufan pressed his fists against his waist, gasping for breath.
Bai Bufan was exhausted to the point of becoming a real man.
Lin Li was scanning the QR code to pay at the swap station.
Fortunately, they had eaten lunch until past two o'clock, so everyone wouldn't be hungry this early. Therefore, after learning about the situation on their end, the girls naturally chose to wait for the two of them to arrive before eating.
"Are you suffering from kidney deficiency? Exhausted like this." Lin Li, who had retrieved a fully charged battery and started replacing it, looked at Bai Bufan's state and mocked him with a smile.
"Ignorant child, how dare you baselessly tarnish my innocence!" Bai Bufan's eyes widened.
"I can cure it," Lin Li said concisely.
"I, Bufan, have wandered half my life without meeting a wise lord. If you do not disdain me, I am willing to acknowledge you as my adoptive father."
*(Translator's Note: A quote from Lu Bu in Romance of the Three Kingdoms).*
"Looking at your illness, traditional Chinese medicine is hard to regulate it. You need two cups of agricultural pesticide (nong yao), the effect will be immediate."
*(Translator's Note: A pun on "zhong yao" / Chinese medicine and "nong yao" / agricultural pesticide).*
Bai Bufan: "..."
*What do you mean traditional Chinese medicine can't cure it so now we have to use agricultural pesticide? Where did this quack doctor come from!*
"Your mother is a servant, so she gave birth to a thieving rat like you!"
*(Translator's Note: A quote from Romance of the Three Kingdoms).*
"Bounce back."
After replacing the battery, Lin Li signaled Bai Bufan to get on, started the scooter, and said: "Bufan, you really need to exercise. Otherwise, next time during the physical fitness test, you'll be the only one caught by the girls."
"Girls chasing me? I'm looking forward to that." Bai Bufan went into heat behind him.
"You're pretty much useless," Lin Li laughed and cursed.
"You don't understand at all. In my life so far, the only person who has ever said to me, 'Bufan, please don't go,' is the PE teacher during the physical fitness test." Bai Bufan sounded miserable.
"In your life, the most intense exercise you've experienced in bed, is it getting a calf cramp in the middle of the night?" Lin Li asked. "When you're most beastly in bed, is it sleeping for over ten hours straight like a koala?"
Bai Bufan: "...Lin Li, I really need to find a van full of people to teach you a lesson."
But Bai Bufan then realized something, punched Lin Li's back, and said disdainfully: "Don't act like you've experienced any other kind of bed exercise."
"Hehe, the most intense bed exercise I've ever done in my life is turning off the light, realizing the blanket is upside down, and then using my feet to rotate the blanket to find the long and short sides."
"...Then you have a lot of life experience." Bai Bufan yielded.
How to quickly and accurately distinguish the long and short sides of a blanket—he suggested someone make a dedicated course for it. It's too difficult, especially when waking up groggy in the middle of the night.
This thing is just like a USB flash drive: you can't plug it in the right way, you can't plug it in the wrong way, but then you turn it back to the right way and it goes in.
Arriving at the destination.
"This place is not bad," Lin Li said as soon as he entered and saw the three girls sitting inside.
"You haven't even eaten yet and you know it's not bad?" Ding Sihan asked with a smile.
"Yeah, the location is great. Set up four machine guns, and you can control the whole street," Lin Li sighed with emotion.
Ding Sihan: "..."
"Are you Su Yu too?" Chen Yuying knew this historical reference, so she said with a smile.
*(Translator's Note: Su Yu was a famous Chinese military general).*
Perhaps Lin Li jinxed it; the food at this restaurant was very average, completely failing to meet expectations.
After dinner, they didn't go anywhere else in Shanting. There were still many areas in the homestay they hadn't explored, so everyone chose to go back first.
Ding Sihan originally wanted everyone to go to the cinema to watch a newly released movie.
But after looking at the National Day movie schedule, she proactively stated she was joking.
In recent years, the quality of movies has really been declining, both domestically and internationally.
Especially internationally, trying to force political correctness down everyone's throats.
Returning to the homestay.
"I asked about the Shanting Zoo. We can use these tickets tomorrow. Do you want to go?" Qu Wanqiu, who had just finished a phone call, returned and asked everyone.
"I looked at the notes and videos shared by tourists here. Shanting Zoo isn't big, and it indeed doesn't have many rare animals, but it's not terrible either. You can interact with some animals. Some complain about the expensive tickets, but since we're going for free, it's fine to go and have fun."
Ding Sihan, who had been scrolling through short videos to see tourists complaining about this zoo, looked up and said.
Reading negative reviews is much more meaningful than reading positive ones.
"Then let's go have fun. Since it's not that big, we don't have to wake up early like going to an amusement park. You guys can still wake up naturally, and we'll go in the afternoon," Lin Li said upon hearing this.
The others had no objections, so the decision was made.
"Continue playing board games?" Ding Sihan looked at Lin Li, or more specifically, at Lin Li's feet.
"Foot fetishists are really disgusting." Lin Li felt a chill and quickly waved his hands: "Not playing, unless we play Legends of the Three Kingdoms."
Unfortunately, the girls had absolutely no interest, especially after seeing the character skills that looked like short essays.
They said they were going to give this broken game a negative review.
*This lifetime is over.*
There was also a mahjong table in the homestay, and everyone planned to play. But with mahjong, let alone counties, every town might have its own rules.
The version Bai Bufan played was beautiful girl Japanese mahjong—the kind where clothes explode when you win.
Qu Wanqiu was a complete mahjong newbie, so she simply teamed up with Ding Sihan.
Everyone chose the simplest Hangzhou mahjong rules.
"In this Swiss bank card, there is 1.5 billion US dollars. Tonight, I am going all in." When the mahjong machine was shuffling the tiles, Lin Li started talking tough, tossing a card onto the table.
"I hate people like you who mix Chinese and English when speaking. It's really low," Bai Bufan said disdainfully.
Lin Li: "..."
*Sometimes I really want to ban Bai Bufan, this hero.*
"However," Bai Bufan was also very suave, tossing a card onto the table: "Are you the only one with money? Here, I have 1.5 billion US dollars deposited in the Rural Credit Cooperative. I call!"
Lin Li: "?"
There was a moment of silence, and then Ding Sihan's suppressed laughter completely erupted. Everyone started roaring with laughter. Lin Li slammed the mahjong table: "Hahaha fuck, no, Bai Bufan, why the fuck is it deposited in the Rural Credit Cooperative?"
*It sounds imposing, but also not imposing at all.*
Lin Li finally understood why rich people insist on depositing their money in foreign banks that sound awesome.
Depositing it in the Rural Credit Cooperative, when you need to take out the card, it's indeed a bit hard to say out loud.
Chen Yuying patted Lin Li's hand, which was peeking at the tiles, suppressing her laughter and sighing: "Lin Li, your little hands are really not very clean."
*Damn it.*
*My little tricks during the chaos were discovered again. Why is the Class Rep's eyesight so good? Why can she immediately spot it every time I cheat?*
"Because I'm not a guy who worships foreign things like you. I believe in the Rural Credit Cooperative. The Rural Credit Cooperative is the best!" Bai Bufan endorsed the Rural Credit Cooperative.
Lin Li pressed his thumb against his upper lip, his body shaking with laughter. Every time Bai Bufan repeated it, he wanted to laugh.
But nodding, Lin Li agreed: "You've convinced me. After today's game is over, I'll immediately withdraw my money from the Swiss bank and deposit it in the Rural Credit Cooperative too."
"Teachable." Bai Bufan was very happy. Lin Li suspected this guy could get a commission.
However, Lin Li found that he had overthought it.
Because after the game ended, his 1.5 billion US dollars were all gone.
*Fuck, did these people cheat?*
*Or is it the legendary beginner's protection period? Why could Qu Wanqiu, a complete newbie, win so fast?*
*Good news: my starting hand was almost Thirteen Orphans. Bad news: we're not playing Japanese mahjong, so they're all fucking useless tiles.*
*Where is the overwhelming wave of Shura tiles? Save me.*
Only losing US dollars, the girls naturally didn't accept it. Because they were no longer bound by the task, the punishment was different from yesterday. Lin Li's face was covered with drawings of turtles.
Seeing this, Bai Bufan whispered to Lin Li that he now had two identical heads.
But not human heads.
After getting tired of playing mahjong, it wasn't too late yet. The few of them planned to take showers first and then go to the homestay's home theater to watch a movie or variety show.
Lin Li let Bai Bufan shower first, while he went back to the room to let the "Substitute Jade-Faced Buddha" absorb his excess energy and stamina.
When Bai Bufan returned to the room drying his hair, he looked at Lin Li with a complaining expression: "It's all your fault, I just pooped a lot."
Lin Li: "?"
"Because I missed you time and time again (yi bian you yi bian)." Bai Bufan explained to Lin Li.
*(Translator's Note: A pun on "bian" meaning time/occurrence and "bian" meaning feces).*
"You motherfucker, get lost."
It's not that Lin Li was saying, but some guys, really, if they used the techniques they use to flirt with their bros on girls, they might have restarted their lives long ago.
"I don't even mind that you're a guy, why do you mind that I'm a guy?" Getting this result, Bai Bufan got angry.
"Don't mess with me, bro." Lin Li raised his middle finger.
"Then you mess with me, bro." Bai Bufan always had a way. Others can be salty or sweet, Bufan can be top or bottom.
Lin Li: "...Fuck."
Bai Bufan: "Now?"
"Your mom—"
As everyone knows, every beating Bai Bufan takes is not innocent.
When Lin Li finished showering, dressed neatly, and went to the home theater, only Bai Bufan was inside.
The home theater had soft sofas, lounge mats, and even massage chairs.
Girls are naturally slow at showering and doing skincare, so they would probably come down together.
When Lin Li entered, Bai Bufan was looking at the chandelier overhead, his hand happening to scratch twice underneath it. When he realized what he had done and saw Lin Li at the same time, his expression changed drastically:
"I was just itchy!"
"How lonely are you, doing that to a chandelier… damn it."
Having his thoughts anticipated, Lin Li slapped his palm in frustration. He was still too slow to speak.
"Lin Li, why do you think there's such a big hole in the ceiling there?" Bai Bufan continued looking at the chandelier, pointing to an area and asking curiously.
"To prevent kids from swallowing it by mistake. This gives the swallowed kid a breathing hole." Lin Li gave the standard answer instantly.
Bai Bufan: "..."
*You motherfucker.*
*A kid who could mistakenly swallow a chandelier nearly a meter in diameter would basically be a juvenile Po Kong.*
*(Translator's Note: Po Kong is a mountain demon from Jackie Chan Adventures).*
"Applying formulas randomly, zero points."
Lin Li turned on the set-top box to see what the home theater had to offer.
"What are we watching later?" Bai Bufan stopped studying the chandelier and came over to ask.
"Probably a horror movie. Watching a horror movie together is an unavoidable part of team building." Lin Li had already silently switched to the horror channel.
"I'm a bit sleepy, I might have to go to sleep first." Bai Bufan wanted to leave, but Lin Li grabbed him and wouldn't let him go.
"It's not like you're fucking watching it alone. And when you sleep, your daddy, me, will be right next to you. What are you afraid of?" Lin Li sneered.
"Lin Li, when you are my only reliance, I'd rather have no reliance," Bai Bufan said to Lin Li with deep emotion.
Lin Li: "..."
*Fuck, this dog's words are a bit hurtful.*
"Besides, after watching this kind of thing, you can't forget it for a while. What if I remember it when I go home? I'll be alone in my room," Bai Bufan frowned and said.
"To be honest, put yourself in their shoes. If you put yourself in the shoes of the ghost who's always sleeping under your bed, I feel like he should be the one who's more afraid, right?" Lin Li described the poor ghost for Bai Bufan:
"Every time he sees your disgusting feet, he'll sigh, 'Holy fuck, that ghost who masturbates on my roof all day is back. I won't be able to sleep well tonight either.'"
Bai Bufan: "..."
"You comforted me very well. Don't comfort me again next time. I still think we should watch something classic?"
"Shanghai Fortress?"
*(Translator's Note: A notoriously bad Chinese sci-fi movie).*
"What kind of classic is that!"
"Many movies are considered bad when they first come out, but later people realize they are classics.
"Shanghai Fortress is such a work. When it was first released, everyone thought it was a bad movie. After some time passed, everyone realized it's a classic bad movie.
"Leaving a bad name for ten thousand years is still ten thousand years. A classic bad movie is still a classic."
Lin Li justified the Fortress.
*Is... is this right?*
"Why don't we watch a sci-fi movie? Lin Li, do you know? Only in space are there oppai that don't sag. That's what I love most about sci-fi," Bai Bufan said sincerely.
Lin Li: "?"
*The artistic level of this sentence is a bit too high, perfectly embodying the vulgar romance of sci-fi.*
"I also want to see oppai that don't sag, but I'm afraid the girls won't want to watch that." But Lin Li said regretfully.
"Then let's watch a horror movie." Since that was the case, Bai Bufan could only choose the less smelly piece of shit from the chamber pot.
Sure enough, when the girls came to the home theater together and Lin Li asked, the first answer was a horror movie.
Perhaps because everyone was there, Chen Yuying had absolutely no objections.
The voting subjects must be human, so it passed unanimously.
Bai Bufan tremblingly took out his phone and pointed it at the screen. Lin Li looked over curiously, and then couldn't hold it in.
This guy had turned on a Hello Kitty filter. Everyone who appeared on the phone would become very cute, and Bai Bufan even added bunny ears to them.
Lin Li: "..."
*What a genius.*
*It also made these characters look good, letting them know the consequences of scaring Bai Bufan.*
But Bai Bufan didn't consider one thing: when there was a jump scare, the filter couldn't react in time.
Looking at Bai Bufan hiding in his arms, and Chen Yuying hiding in Ding Sihan's arms next to him, Lin Li scratched his head.
*This isn't right, is it?*
*(End of Chapter)*